Change The Chatter
“I’m so stupid” “I hate the way I look” “I’m such an idiot” “I can’t do anything right”
How many times have you said those words to yourself over the past week? How many of those words have you told yourself today?
This is often how our self-talk goes.
We say these words to ourselves over and over again and we think that they don’t matter. We think they’re just words. No big deal. But those words stick with us. Those words bury themselves all the way down in our soul. We begin to believe them. They become part of who we are. Who needs enemies when the words we tell ourselves do a really good job of keeping us off balance.
And trust me, if the words you tell yourself are anything like the words I tell myself, I know this is not a good thing.
It’s taken me a long time to get to the point where I recognize my mistakes in a way that is not judgmental, but instead in a way that rewards my efforts and helps me to see what the next step might be. But, my first response when I made a mistake used to be “I totally fucked up. Why can’t I do anything right?” Instead, of something more gentle like, “Nice try, you really made a good effort. Let’s see where things went wrong.” Which are the words I would use if my kids needed help with something at school. Or, if my friend was trying to figure out something in her life.
So, when I find myself getting stuck in that kind of spiral where I’m surrounding myself with negative words I focus on changing the chatter. I replace words of defeat, with words of opportunity. I work on using words of respect, instead of words of abuse. And, I think of how I would talk to a friend or my children if they were facing a similar issue. Make a shift in how you view yourself. Find your strengths and celebrate them all day long, and forget about fixating on the weak spots in your life. Those are not the gifts that were meant to shine.